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nicole"navarro.just-2wenty-one.o4th april.aries.half-malaysian-chinese-half-filipino.turtles, rainbows, motorbikes, vanilla.14 piercings.inked.officially licensed to ride.my mood: 
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Wednesday, June 10, 2009, 1:17 AM
i have a secret,and nope, nobody is ever going to find it.
yes, the blabberings of a jobless bum.
it's been an entire week since my strat paper and i have been bumming like no tomorrow.
in my defence, i have started exercising!!
30 laps on friday and 40 laps just the other day on monday.
(swimming of course, no way i can run/jog in laps in multiples of tens)
i have surpassed even my own expectations cos initially my target was 20 laps.
going back to the pool reminded me of the joys i used to have as a kid
every sunday at chuan park for my swimming lessons.
i may have very few skills and attributes i can brag about,
but if there is one thing that i'm proud of, it's my swimming.
i am no mediocre swimmer.
i am not the kind who swims half a lap and get all breatheless and crampy.
i trained every sunday for years to get to my standard
bronze, silver, gold, honours, speed.
i enjoyed it, no matter how tough the training
whether it be normal swimming, wearing our snorkels and flippers or trying to beat time limits.
the water gave me a comfort, i felt at home in it.
and seeing those kids having lessons there in hougang swimming complex,
brought back those old memories.
i used to HATE swimming with the pyjamas and blowing them up
i didn't suck at it but it sure was a hell of torture.
kicking and pulling with all your might.
so yes, i feel alive again when swimming.
i am reminded of my strength and my speed
and that i have a skill that not everyone posses.
or maybe i just say all of this to make myself feel better?
haha, whatever it is
i have found an old source of pride and joy.
(and also my long lost tan) :)
i planned to swim 5 days a week?
but it seems that that might be a tad to aspiring a feat after not swimming properly for years
my left knee cap hurts abit from over exertion.
in due time i guess,
i'll stick to 2-3 times a week for now
if not i'll be tanned beyond recognition
only after 2 sessions already i look non-chinese. o.0
during my abscence from proper blogging,
a few topics worth pondering came to mind.
i won't eleborate on them now cos it's already 1+am
but maybe i will in the future.
i feel that this space is so dense compared to those of my peers.
they write poems, discuss about life topics and come up with their own theories
where as i, i produce meaningless records of what i've been up to and vain photos.
you know how everyone complains that they can't wait to finish school and be done with exams and projects and homework?
but when you actually get to that point, you wished you never had to leave behind that world of using microsoft word/powerpoint, highlighters and correction tape.
cos what lies ahead is scary
a world of responsibility, routine and uncertainty.
what do you want in life?
what are your goals?
what job/profession do you want to be in?
where do you see yourself in 5 or maybe 10 years?
to me every question is answered with a big fat blank.
i do not know what i want or where i want to go
and that's scary.
but for now i will let those blanks stay and enjoy the time and freedom that i have now.
time to meet up with friends, go on holiday and do whatever there is that i want to
before taking my official big step into adulthood.
and that's exactly what i've been doing and am going to do.
i've been meeting up with friends like joyceh, ym, zm, yjj, jack, ivan, jov, esmond as much as i can.
i would love to meet xiang as much as i can too but with him there are always other commitments such as school or work
i've been swimming, reading books, playing long-untouched games, rearing a whole gang of guppised (13 to be exact!!), riding..
hopefully me and xiang can go on short getaways next month and in august as planned
and i'm going back to my part time job because i need money
i also need to get back to my 2a which i've stopped for nearly half a year
what's stopping me is the fear of not riding a super 4 for so long.
stupid stupid ego and fear of embarrassment. -________-"
hopefully i get to party as much as i can while i still can
though the girls are all on attachment now and they don't club as often. :S
on a random note,
something's been slightly (a teensy weensy bit) bugging me
i have no idea why i have been blocked on msn.
it's pretty obvious cos that person is online almost everyday and suddenly is offline all the time
i wonder what happened that there was a need to block
esp when we aren't even on talking anymore
or maybe that is the reason.
but that's weird cos we've been like that for many many months and it's only now that this happens
damn strange laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
oh well, it was your choice to end the friendship.
i thought i could finally maintain a friendship for once since mostly everyone ignored me after
but maybe that's too complicated
it just bugs me that any person will block me for no absolute reason. o.0
(or am i sending spams via msn that's why?)
so irritating.
on more random notes,
i want this game!!!!
but i doubt my cottoncandy can support it
and i'm sure it's going to cost a bomb
but then it's so cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool *whines*
you can customise so many things in this version
highlights in hair, clothes fabrics, more specific traits and even the favourite food and stuff of your characters
the visuals are so much better too!
i want i want i want!!
:X
and this is such a 2a beauty
if only i were up to my knees in money!!
(this bike only requires that much)
the ninja 250rchio chio chio!!
and in my favourite colour too. (:
(yes, i like all things ah beng and my bf totally abhors my taste but who cares. :p)
i probably should sleep now.
badminton at 9.30am tomorrow
goodnight~*
nicole<3
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