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nicole"navarro.just-2wenty-one.o4th april.aries.half-malaysian-chinese-half-filipino.turtles, rainbows, motorbikes, vanilla.14 piercings.inked.officially licensed to ride.my mood: 
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Wednesday, April 30, 2008, 4:43 PM
my sleeping hours are totally screwed..i slept at 7+am and woke up awhile ago around 4.10pm..
on the bright side i did get my 8hours of sleep..
but my hours are getting later and later..
o.0
supper at jb last night..
wasn't satisfied with my food this time round.. sad :(
i want my chong pang nasi lemak..!!!!
i've been slacking at home ever since sunday..
no work, no dressing up and going out, no spending money..
gonna head to bodyshop later though..
today's the last day for my 20% birthday month discount..
money rolling out again.. o.0
next few days are gonna be more eventful..
tomorrow's labour day aka public holiday, haven't had one of those for quite some time..
friday's anqi's rom solomnisation (dunno how to spell) and dinner..
saturday afternoon's npcc gathering with the whitleyans..
gonna go brush my teeth and have lunch at 5pm..
muahahahahhahaa..
tags:
mel - yes bestie, i will go swimming with you when your exams are over.. i'm getting fuck fat too.. -_______________-"
ots - haha. you be glad to hear that i've decided on getting an sp instead.. and thanks for the advice.. =)
csx - happy 4th monthsary baby <3<3<3
nicole<3
Tuesday, April 29, 2008, 4:48 PM
i don't know what's wrong with the way i felt..today was supposed to be "us"..
especially after how thinsg have been going..
then you suggested movies with your friends..
if some other girl were in my shoes, i'd bet they'd feel the same..
it's only natural i'd feel sian after hearing that..
since you know we need more alone time together do you even need to ask if i want to catch a show with your friends?
i'm just reacting like how a normal person would react..
is being normal wrong?
sometimes you get sian over certain things, can't i as well..?
feeling sian is not like the end of the world or means the whole day is ruined..
not like i didn't want to see you anymore today..
many a time i've been looking forward to seeing you but at the last minute i don't get to..
i don't complain or say anything..
so sometimes there are times i have certain reactions to small things..
can't i have my way sometimes?
i don't ask you to sacrifice many things or to give in to alot of things for me..
what a shitty week..
not even the middle of the week and already i'm emotionally drained..
on sunday i kept asking if you were free on wed..
probably you didn't realize it but it was because wed(tmr) is our monthsary..
we've never really celebrated before..
but i guess cause you have work and you need time to do your training..
so i thought i could spend today with you til after 12am..
that would have been suffice for me..
that's why i'd rather you do your thing before meeting me rather than the other way around..
i wanted one night that you didn't have to go off by a certain timing cause you either had to book in/work/go run/etc
spending time together according to timeslots isn't exactly easy..
so there..
sometimes i wished you were more sensitive when you know i'm pmsing..
sometimes i wish you'd care when i was sad and crying..
sometimes i wish that things you tell me, you actually mean them and carry them out..
sometimes i wish you'd treat me like a girl and not like i'm your guy buddy..
sometimes..
nicole<3
1:15 AM
there are times i really really really want to talk to you..talk about us, talk about anything i feel like talking about..
but i really hardly get the chance..
for reasons you and i know..
sorry if you feel that i spoilt your mood earlier..
i just thought since your attention was on me and cause you actually wanted to know then it was okay..
nicole<3
12:11 AM
the first "FIRST" for today was that i upped and went jogging after so so long..and me being the idiot that i am did it on the 2nd day of my period..
of all times right..?
the second "FIRST" is that i had one single meal the whole day..
it's been a very very long time since that's happened..
seeing that i always eat when i'm out with friends..
and they always prepare/buy my share at home..
"I already know. Why must you always like complain when i'm out with my friends? It kinda spoil mood you know. Why not when u see me and we talk about."
wow, that hurt. alot.
1. since you asked me how i felt and everything i was answering your question. i was not complaining at all. it was sharing my feelings with you.. since you wanted to know about it in the first place and throughout the conversation you didn't say anything, how would i know i was spoiling your mood.. and you complain i don't know how to handle discussions..
2. so now all of a sudden i'm always complaining when you're out with friends huh? why do i not recall that?
3. wouldn't hurt to be more sensitive during pms period right?
4. it was never my intention to disturb your time with your friends, especially wanting to spoil your mood. i seriously thought since you wanted to know then you were okay with talking about it.
5. you then proceeded to say you didn't feel like talking anymore and went offline.
6. what did i do wrong again? when there's finally a chance that you want to talk about it, i think i finally have a chance to open up to you.. but it gets smacked back in my face.. and how should i handle you saying you don't want to talk anymore.
7. whenever i'm down, the person i'd wish most was there for me is you. but yet..
8. i'm feeling damn sad now.. :(
nicole<3
Monday, April 28, 2008, 8:58 PM
muahahahhahahahaha~*i actually exercised today..!!
jogged 4 very slow rounds around the area..
and did 50 sit-ups at the fitness corner nearby..
considering the last time i exercised was 28683279037382-831 years ago..
not a bad job..!! :D
nicole<3
Sunday, April 27, 2008, 7:19 PM
something's wrong with dad..he's got some skin bacterial infection..
it was scheduled that he'd be hospitalized on tuesday for an op where he'd have to stay between 1-2weeks depending on how bad it is..
but it suddenly got really bad just now, with bleeding and discharge..
don't know what's gonna happen next..
:(
nicole<3
2:24 PM
pms + bloatedness + water retention = PERIODyes, it's that time again..
see bf, i told you it was the water retention..!!
but no, you said that i was using it as an excuse.. o.0
I AM NOT FAT I TELL YOU (not that fat anyway)..!!
that means no sexay time for the time being..
so sad.. =X
lols..
nicole<3
1:00 PM
my aircon's been down since friday night.. dead, kaput..!!and for those of you who know me..
i NEED my aircon at night..
so yes, the past 2 nights have been a torture..
with the fan blasting a speed 3..
sleeping and feeling sticky and all uncomfortable..
have to wait for the tenant to send repairmen to fix it..
=(
and me and esmond went to repair the camera on wednesday..
but sadly, the lcd screen is not covered under the warranty..
it would cost 200-300 bucks to fix the screen alone, which does not include the 80 service fee and the 7% gst..
which if you add it all up is as good as buying a new camera..
so esmond said he'd buy me a new one..
i was thinking of this beauty..
the shocking pink in real life is damn bloody bright, i like..
i'm waiting for csx to get up which i predict will be around 2-3pm..?
enjoy your sunny sundays..
i'm hating mine without aircon.. o.0
*mel & sera* - you guys super anti-xmm la..!! =X lols..
nicole<3
3:23 AM
life is just full of irony..
til jus now, my organiser was left untouched for the whole of april..so i decided to swipe away the cobwebs (not literally!) from it and started updating..
i try my best to record what i do everyday..
especially all the moments spent with :) ..
cause i want to remember everything we do.. =D
what we do, where we go, special times, are all jotted down..
but when it came to 16th april i couldn't remember what we did..
i checked back old sms's, previous blog entries but there was nothing about what we did..
i knew i met him around 4+pm and he left around 7+pm cause he had work..
but for the life of me couldn't remember what happened in between..
i know we went out, but where to..??
i spent 30-45minutes wrecking my brains trying to remember,
thinking about the places we'd been to and things we'd done recently..
i "die-die" wanted to recall the 16th because i didn't want to leave that blank in our memories..
like tearing a hole into a painting you've been working on for so long..
so i decided to msg csx about it, though i doubt he could remember either..
and just as i pressed the sent button, it suddenly hit me..
I REMEMBERED WHERE THE HELL WE WENT THAT DAY..!!
we went to view 2nd hand cars for fun..
anyway,
the mainpoint is i spent so much brainpower trying to recall but to no avail..
BUT as soon as i sent a msg to the bf about it i recalled it..
SO I SHOULD HAVE MSGED HIM ABOUT IT EARLIER SO I WOULD HAVE RECALLED IT SOONER AND NOT WRECKED MY BRAINS SO MUCH RIGHT..?!?!
so stupid..
*arghs*
the irony..
o.0
nicole<3
Saturday, April 26, 2008, 12:21 AM
woke up pretty early today, 8am to be exact..mcgriddles breakfast with sera at tpy central..
weili joined us after for 3 kingdoms, which wasn't as good as i'd expected it to be..
then we headed to town for the 2-5pm student tapas package at cine's kbox..
met :) aka csx at great world later on which i suppose is because he doesn't need to pay for erp if he picks me up from there instead.. -_____-"
ended up at chinatown cause we didn't know where else to go..
walked around abit then met up with his buddy, aaron, for dinner..
then :) had to go to work..
short meetup today, but 2 and a half hours is definately better than nothing..
even had an hour and a half nap when i got back.. =X
working at sji tomorrow..
going to have to work with a few "choice people" that several of us really dislike..
but what can you do..?
they had better not get on our nerves..
i HATE working events at kheam hock now..
the people there are all snobbish show-offs..
and there's this particular caucasian woman who keeps giving so much trouble during her events..
even da jie can't stand her..
stupid B-I-T-C-H said i was too SEXUAL (she actually used that word!!) to serve her clients..
just because we were wearing the long sleeve vests which are designed to be short..
and i hadn't pulled my pants up for some time cause i was carrying stuff..
so when i was going up stairs an inch plus a half of skin was showing behind..
COME ON, THAT IS NOWHERE NEAR SEXUAL..
i would have expected better use of english coming from a white woman..
for the rest of the damn event my back wasn't showing unless i had to bend over to get something..
and that's not even just me, it's the same for the rest of the servers when they stretch or bend..
just my luck that she had to pick on me.. *grrrrrrrr*
i want to start riding already man..
i have the moolahs (i think) now..
but i'm making no action to start looking for a bike yet..
kinda depending on friends to help me out but don't really want to trouble them..
HOW?!
and csx is bugging me about driving, which i should really start on already since i'm enrolled.. =X
i'm gonna ride an ah beng bike even though csx doesn't like them.. =P
on the bright side we can PEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~ together side by side, right baby?
heh heh heh.. ;)
okay, that's all for now..
gonna go crisis core..
cloud is so cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
and when the main character's mentor/bestfriend died in the game i felt so sad.. :(
rpg's are always like that, the hero's bestfriend or lover has to die for that added effect of drama to the storyline..
tata~*
cole
nicole<3
Wednesday, April 23, 2008, 1:33 PM
i realize that the previous post sounded like a breakup..my bad for not explaining properly..
that's the last thing that would happen..
everything's fine and dandy..
just my regular emo-ing..
:)
mel: of course it's a xmm, all our interns are xmm's in comparison to our ages.. LOLS~*
GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR PAPER TODAY BABE..
nicole<3
2:39 AM
emoshit..
a self-reflection:i'm the kind who yearns for care and concern..
for attention..
for affection..
to be doted on..
to be showered with love..
to feel that someone needs me, that i serve a purpose in their life..
because at home i don't feel all that..
call me needy or demanding if you see fit..
true enough, my expectations are quite high at times, i won't deny..
but when i don't feel those, i feel lonely, empty if you will..
i don't set out to be selfish or difficult on purpose, i just want to be happy..
i don't know why i couldn't bear to let go earlier..
one moment i was feeling down about something that happened moments before..
the next i really really really didn't want to part from that warm embrace..
just a sudden gush of emotion..
so strong that i could feel the pain; heartache
the tears escaped before i could even think to control them..
even i don't know where to start to explain it..
i miss you so much..
nicole<3
Tuesday, April 22, 2008, 12:53 AM
one of my company's intern's boyfriend is so sweet..she stays at hougang while he stays at ang mo kio..
so she'd go over to his place after work and then he'd cycle her home to hougang..
all 20-30 minutes of it..
*tian mi mi*
AWWWW~*
nicole<3
Monday, April 21, 2008, 12:33 AM
to the people who msned me earlier in the afternoon when i was out..mel: lols.. so sad.. but you mean you can't study if your grandma's around..?? anyway, study hard for the coming paper babe.. we'll go celebrate once 8th may is over.. :)
ah lex: yea i know.. i've been wanting to meet you guys but i always either have work or something else on during weekends.. maybe this coming friday night cos i have work on sat? but you guys will definately see me on 2nd may during anqi's rom dinner so if all else fails i'll get the presents then..
nicole<3
Friday, April 18, 2008, 1:10 AM
now that the serangoon flat has been sold,and if dad keeps to his word,
that means i can get a bike anytime from here on..
finally after many months of waiting..
but yet, i'm not getting the encouragement i thought i would..
i know it's a way of showing concern but yet, i find it hypocritical at the same time..
at first they're like "wah, hurry up and get a bike.. female riders are cool.." yadah yadah..
but when it comes to the point that you can actually get to ride..
"oh, you shouldn't ride, it's dangerous.. you don't want to make people worry about you" etc etc..
same person, two very different and contradicting opinions..
the more people say i shouldn't,
the more i want to ride and prove them wrong..
i want to show them i can be independent..
and it's at this point of time i have to make my final decision on what i want to ride..
i was torn between sp's and scrams..
but when i step back from the decisions of friends and close ones,
and follow what my heart wants..
i really still prefer sp's..
i'm not making a decision by myself without discussing..
but that's just how i feel..
i've been wanting to ride an sp all the way since i enrolled in feb 2oo6.
and heck, i even spent 2-3 hours drawing one..
deep down inside i still prefer sportbikes than dirtbikes..
people say i should get a scram because..
"sp's are too short for you"
"sp's are for bengs & lians"
"you're tall enough to ride a scram"
"you have the more sporty look so you should get a scram"
but ultimately,
does the bike maketh the rider or the rider maketh the bike..?
do you judge a person by the bike they choose to ride..?
and who's to say that a particular bike suits a person..?
if you choose to judge me because i choose a certain bike, then i'm sorry that i have you as a friend..
i know you people think i should really get a scram because of my height..
but what i fear is whether i can handle the bike..
the higher cg and everything..
and what about if a have a pillion..?
from personal experience, wr200's aren't exactly the most comfortable bikes to be pillioned on..
i think it was the glamour, from how my friends pictured i'd look cool on a scrambler, that drew me towards that direction
so yea,
i'm still stuck with my decision..
but i know deep down i still want to ride an sp..
so should i go with what i want..
or with what other people think is better for me..?
you're definately thinking, "of course go with what your heart tells you, who cares what your friends think, it's ultimately your decision.."
easier said than done..
oh wells,
not like i'm making a decision that will change the rest of my life..
i can always get either/or and if i decide it's not what i want, i can always sell it and get the other..
since i'll be paying in full i won't have to worry about losing money and carrying on of installments etc etc..
so i got that off my chest..
i feel better now..
;)
nicole<3
12:45 AM
sian..i don't like partings to be so rushed..
things should come naturally..
when the ending's spoilt it just spoils the whole thing..
couldn't even tell i didn't like it..
*sigh*
nicole<3
Monday, April 14, 2008, 2:57 AM
sunday with :) turned out pretty good except for a slightly rocky start..went to bikeasia @ the expo with was pretty disappointing..
very few bike displays and the whole scene was pretty dull..
back home for dinner and lazed on the living room couch while watching animal planet..
then it was "sex is zero 2" at vivocity with csx's friends..
show is bloody full of boob, boobs and more boobs..
it's like everyone in korea has big one which makes me feel damn zi bei.. (self-pity) o.0
supper at upper serangoon road, some expensive chinese shit.. -_______-"
the past few days have been pretty exciting..
but i'm damn lazy to elaborate right now..
had like 4 hours of sleep plus an hour of napping the whole day..
woke up at 9am to meet have mac breakfast with yiming, zhimin and jinjie..
THE PANCAKE BURGER THINGY ROCKS LA..!! =X
it's like egg mcmuffin "kiaped" between pancakes rather than bread and inside the pancakes there's maple syrup..
you definately won't want to miss it.. =D
that's all for now..
goodnight..
loves,
cole
wins: haha.. it's not really that huge.. but then again it isn't that small.. =X hah.. i'm doing fine babe.. slacking like crazy and OMG, YOU'RE COMING BACK SO SOON..!!!!!!!!!!! i can't wait.. we are so going to bake those rainbow cupcakes alright..?!?! =D haha..
nicole<3
Sunday, April 13, 2008, 5:00 AM
finally, i get a day with csx..provided that he doesn't sleep half of it away..
can't wait.. :)
nicole<3
Friday, April 11, 2008, 4:42 AM
5am boredom..
it's 5am right now and i'm still awake..double-O'ed earlier cos it was the bf's friends' b'day..
damn packed with malay girls and mostly boys even though it's LADIES night.. o.0
the b'day girl is such a fierce dancer.. DAMN HOT can..!!
how i wish i had the confidence and moves to dance as fierce/sexy as her..
felt quite the failure today..
no matter how i tried to dance with the bf he didn't seem very receptive to me..
made me feel like either i wasn't attractive enough or that my moves sucked..
you know how when couples club tgr they end up grinding or dancing WITH each other..
well, we were merely dancing IN FRONT of each other instead.. -_________-"
in fact when i wanted to go dance he wasn't in the mood at all..
he only started when the rest of the group were at it.. (shouldn't i be reason enough?)
SAD.. T.T
i kinda wish i had more time with him..
although i do see him pretty often..
but what i really enjoy is alone time.. (er ren si jie)
like just slacking somewhere, talking about anything and everything, cuddling..
we don't have to go out all the time..
what i want is quality time.. :)
it's been a week since i turned 21..
and i still feel the same..
although now i'm legally able to do anything i want..
didn't recieve all that many presents this year..
but the few that i did receive were all pretty expensive.. =X
i want to say a HUGE thank you to miss yee si jia seraphim for the sunflowers and the black/white rainbow bikini.. *LOVES*
dad and aunt leann gave me a pendant/necklace which costs over 300bucks..
and my aunt/uncle gave an extra huge birthday ang pao..
and my present to myself..?
a tattoo of a unicorn and a rainbow on my right shoulder..
so far i've gotten mixed comments..
some people love it..
others go why did you put it there instead of above your waist..
the bf repeatedly told me today it was ugly..
whether he really meant it or not, hearing that comment made me feel :( ..
speaking about tattoos..
most of mine has peeled off already..
it was like fucking itchy the past few days cause it was drying up..
and i've been obsessed with peeling off the parts that were already sticking out..
i just LOVE peeling dead skin.. (esp after sunburns.. sadistic i know)
whoever says that tattoos aren't painful is fucking lying i tell you..
it feels like a blade is cutting into your skin..
and my tolerence for pain is supposed to be pretty good..
maybe i have a sensitive back.. =X lols..
so what happened on my b'day prior to my mos horror and puking twice..?
the night before i had a gathering with a number of my ex-colleagues..
we had supper at some dimsum place at geylang..
then went to east coast to sing the b'day song and eat b'day ice-cream..
talked and slacked til the wee hours..
and on the actual day..
well, =) brought me (actually he didn't because i met him there o.0) to kuishin-bo @ suntec for dinner..
expensive japanese buffet place..
as a temporary present (that's what he said cos he didn't have the dough for a proper present), he have me a box of royce chocolates..
and then he bluffed me saying that he wanted to go to the singapore flyer to have a look at the shops there..
so we walked over from suntec.. i didn't even suspect a thing..
when we got there, out popped tickets that were made through online booking in his hands..
such a sweet surprise.. :)
these few days have been pretty busy..
tattoo-ing on sat with sera and my first time meeting her friend weili who lives at hougang as well.. (a new friend to share cab with on late nights out with him and sera.. muahahahahahahah~*)
dinner with joyceh on sunday.. =) came over to send me home..
went to some khatib fishshop with chris on mon afternoon and dinner at bugis' seoul garden with sera and weili..
ended up going with them to chijmes to meet with their singtel colleagues..
they were at some pub/club/live band place..
quite a crazy bunch of people..
thrashed weili at 5-10 which pretty much contributed to him puking later on.. =X *evil laughter*
tues was work at marina keppel bay..
settled some stuff at country "kitchen utensil" on wednesday with sera..
then we met melvina in town to catch "shutter" at cine..
OVERNIGHT BEST FRIENDS..!! =X haha
had dinner at coke longue which was DELICIOUS..
then me and sera went for the 7-10pm kbox package.. (mel couldn't join cos she was having a sore throat amongst all things.. o.0)
we had a very funny incident regarding a tampon but i shalln't go into detail or else sera will kill me.. =P
after which was supper with weili at shaw's mc cafe..
time for pictures now.. :)
lazy to put captions la..
and some pics are still with sera..
it's 6am now..
i took a whole hour for this post..
dang!
time to sleep..
goodnight world..
love,
cole
nicole<3
Saturday, April 05, 2008, 2:21 PM
damn disappointing..i hardly had 5 glasses of drinks and already i was down..
couldn't really dance much cos my vision was blurred and i couldn't stand for the life of me..
plus hardly i get the chance to club with the bf and i can't even club properly..
BAH~*
even puked twice, horrible feeling..
haven't puked since the last time we went drinking at fiona's place which was a year plus ago..
nicole<3
Friday, April 04, 2008, 4:51 AM
i'm 21 now.. =D
happy birthday to me..!!!!! :)nicole<3
Thursday, April 03, 2008, 2:44 AM
birthday "jitters"
i am starting to feel the anticipation for my birthday.. =Di feel all excited inside..
it's less than 24 hours away..!!
it's not the celebrations i'm looking forward to most.. (not that i don't look forward to them)
but i'm more anxious over the fact that o4/o4 is here..!!
IT'S THE DAY..!!!!
muahahhahahaahahhahahahaha~*
wonder what presents i'll receive this year.. =X
think i'll have problems sleeping tonight..
i'm so excited i can't stand it..
hah..
check out sera's nick.. (click to enlarge)
LMAO..
nicole<3
Wednesday, April 02, 2008, 4:45 PM
it's a crime to even wake up..
all i can say is "um" and "ya" because i just woke up and my mind's so blank that i can't think of anything..even if you're pissed that doesn't mean you can just throw your temper at me..
i fucking hate it when people do that to me..
even more when i haven't even done anything to deserve it..
it's already been hours and hours..
sorry i'm still not "UNDERSTANDING" enough ya..?
i really appreciate getting my :) turned into a :(
nicole<3
12:05 PM
my birthday's comingMy Birthday's Coming
MY BIRTHDAY'S COMING..!!
another 36 hours baby..!!
but yet i have nothing planned at all.. -_______-"
I AM SUCH A PATHETICALLY BORING PERSON..
oh wells, i was never one to be the life of a party..
so many things i want to buy..
i have 20% off at bodyshop and topshop/man/dp cos it's my birthday month..
taking orders if you guys want anything or let me know if ya wanna shop with me.. :)
please call/sms 81830784.. =X
i want that black-rainbow billabong bikini - $79.90
i want escada's moon shine perfume - $49.90
i don't know what else i want yet..
okay, so that's not actually alot..
been suprisingly busy lately..
worked at the esplanade and united bank of SNOBS (according to sera)..
jb supper and mustafa shopping last friday..
dinner at bugis's ministry of food plus arcading on sat..
went to see the f1 display at the padang on sunday with part of the team..
finally bought my light denim skinnies and another pair of black skinnies (if you'd actually noticed, my original pair is a tad too short cos at times my ankles can be seen - THE HORROR!), ate katong laksa and mustafa-ing again on monday..
towning with yc and esmond, caught vantage point at ps then to pasir ris to look for our ex-manager, roland yesterday..
you know how i blogged about suspecting that my period's coming that's why i've been emo-ing in the last entry..?
@#$%^&*( the very next day it really came..
which means i'll be pms-ing during my birthday..
so no drinking, no skirts and i won't be getting any..
LOL~* o.0
shall get my ass off my bed now..
i got woken up at 9+am..
i've had less than 4 hours of sleep..
and i can't get back to dreamland anymore..
i hate when i can't get enough sleep when i'm "bleeding"..
doesn't bode well for my skin plus i'm already tired as it is without the lack of sleep, even worse so with it..
oh wells..
gonna go brush my teeth..
tata~*
signing off -
cole
nicole<3
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