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nicole"navarro.just-2wenty-one.o4th april.aries.half-malaysian-chinese-half-filipino.turtles, rainbows, motorbikes, vanilla.14 piercings.inked.officially licensed to ride.my mood: 
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Monday, September 29, 2008, 12:33 AM
what a busy busy busy week.i don't think i spent one full night at home the whole 7 days
always going out til late night or leaving the house late at night
hah!
should have started on my assignments already
but me being me; queen procrastinator nicole
i haven't started on a single thing
which is something i really shouldn't be proud of.
*sheepish smile*
okay, i've been doing something very illegal for 3 weeks
which i swear i did not do on purpose
in fact i only realized it 2 days ago. =X
will not spell out what it is hence i get into trouble
i think only 2 people know about it
and i am damn well lucky to not have been caught *counts her lucky stars*
i am gonna rectify the problem once and for all tomorrow morning
and hopefully things will be smooth sailing from them on
i don't have the moolahs to keep on doing this man.
-________________-"
finally got to see csx today!!
haven't seen him all week, the last time being last sunday
okay. so i did see him yesterday cos i was at ps and he happened to be having his dinner break there too
but that doesn't count since it was barely 10 minutes.
first time we've been apart for so long which didn't involve either of us going out of singapore
i hope we can keep from reoccurring to a minimal,
my poor lonely heart can't take too much of it.
o.0
HAH~*
nicole<3
Friday, September 26, 2008, 6:27 PM
i don't know.i feel kind of lonely
like something's missing
a huge something.
i long for that companionship and affection
hanging out with friends just isn't the same
not that they aren't fun to be around or that they don't make me happy
but, it just doesn't give you that warm fuzzy feeling.
i wonder if this feeling's gonna stick around
it's kinda depressing at times.
oh wells.
on the bright side,
my internet connection is back!!
FINALLY, after 3 days
for the people who have been looking high and low for me online
and wondering if i had disappeared
i am back.
nicole<3
Monday, September 22, 2008, 3:17 AM
had a really good albeit short time with xiang just nowhappy happy.
:)
nicole<3
Sunday, September 21, 2008, 5:32 AM
this video rocks!!
nicole<3
Saturday, September 20, 2008, 3:50 AM
saded.elijah won't start
god knows why?
and i can't seem to find sx
think he fell asleep.
o.0
nicole<3
3:50 AM
i miss the happy timesand i hope they come back soon
it's been some time.
managed to get a bit of those old feelings back today
but it's still not quite there yet
still a few kinks here and there
i guess we're still pretty tired and raw from before.
lets work hard at it alright?
from time to time i feel quite lonely
i miss having someone to give me attention and fuss and worry about me
who wonders how i am and what have i been doing all day.
someone who's just there whenever i need him,
whether i'm happy and want to share,
sad and need a shoulder,
confused and need advice
or simply bored and need someone to accompany me.
someone who will call just to hear my voice or msg me because he misses me
a big smile would appear on his face when he first sees me
and i'd be greeted with a huge hug and a kiss
he would entertain me no matter how lame or nonsensical i would get,
even if i asked the stupidest and most irritating of questions.
we would be content just slacking around at home and having each other for company
and i could talk about anything under the sun
lately he's been tired, moody and temperamental
and i hardly see that smile on his face
the warmness and fun he used to give out has since ceased.
i guess he's too preoccupied with all the other things happening in his life,
and too worn out by the time he can he stops worrying/thinking about/dealing with them
which leads to his indifference towards me now.
it's not easy to not incur his wrath or to avoid saying something which might upset him.
because his tiredness causes him to be very sensitive and impatient.
it's quite disheartening whenever he gets upset with me though i've been trying really hard.
i hope things tide over soon and he'll return to his old self
cos i really miss the guy i used to know.
its not been easy for him
and its definitely not been easy for us.
i miss you
nicole<3
Thursday, September 18, 2008, 11:48 PM
i think me and elijah have some kinda connection or bond or something.last night i was really down when i went to the carpark to start him,
and no matter how many times i kicked, (no, i did not kick my bike, i meant kick-starting)
with choke or no choke,
and kept turning the ignition on and off,
elijah just refused to start.
i tried and i tried til i was pespiring and cos i was too mentally tired to continue,
i just decided there was either something wrong with him again or he was actually feeling how i was feeling therefore coming up with the equation --> [rider feeling down = bike down]
but of course i was thinking people would think i was crazy to believe the latter.
but hey what do you know,
today i was in better spirits,
and elijah came roaring to life when i started him.
is there such a thing as affinity between riders and their bikes?
i wonder.
anyway,
perioding again.
BAH~*
nicole<3
3:32 PM
i feel lonely.nicole<3
Wednesday, September 17, 2008, 11:41 PM
does that mean i'm not worth fighting for?
that once you say it's over then it's over
you'll never look back or regret it?
you won't even feel the pain or loss?
you'll never want me back ever again?
why then did you lie to me when we were casually talking about this before?
you said that once it's about infidelity then you won't even consider (that i agree)
but if it's because of a misunderstanding or other similar factors, you will try to get me back.
was it all just lies to make me feel at ease?
i feel so unimportant.
does that mean after everything we've been through you still didn't love me that much/enough?
you will willingly toy with the idea of breaking up so easily,
since you know that once you make a decision it will be final?
i feel so lost now.
after everything we said and done together
after all the effort i'm putting in
after all i've done
are you saying you will willingly let me go so easily?
you always say that i get so upset or unreasonable over small things, then what will happen in the future when we're both working adults and something big happens.
let me ask you back,
so if now already you feel like giving up,
if we are still together when we're both working,
you give me up just as easily if something major happens?
i am really really really disappointed.
am i really not that important enough to you?
why must you be so unfair to me?
don't you love me enough that if you lose me now,
you will try all your best to get me back?
you tell me that it's not like you don't love me anymore and finding another girl.
you expect me to believe that you'll still love me and stay single for the rest of your life because of that?
so what difference does it make you saying that you still love me but eventually along the way you'll find some other person to settle down with, have a family and live the rest of your life with.
am i supposed to feel comforted by that?
even if you've broken up, why can't you get back together?
if you really love the person so much you do anything for them right?
or is it some male chauvinist pig thinking that once a guy says to break he'll never change his mind.
why must things be so childish?
you really make me feel so unloved, unimportant and unworthy.
i thought you promised that you'll be good to me and make me happy?
why hurt me like this?
even after everything that's happening now.
no matter how hard things are,
i am really trying.
and i never ever considered going seperate ways
simply because i love you
and i don't want to give up.
why can't you do the same for me?
why can't you give me back the same strength, determination and love?
i can't say that i can undertsand how you feel
but i know things are really hard for you now.
your dad's condition, work, school, not having enough time, us.
but please don't give up on us so easily.
why is it that you have so many misgivings, (you have admitted to this yourself)
you make me sad so many times
yet i NEVER ever think about breaking up no matter how bad things are.
but because of things that are neither your fault nor mine,
things that are external and not within our control at all
you are willing to give up.
you are considering whether we should break up.
what's worse when it's for good.
if things are really bad right now,
we can take a break from each other, put things on hiatus,
and continue again when you are in a better state to.
there is no need to break up at all.
please love me enough to want to fight for me
please love me enough that even if one day we were to break up, you will still want me back.
please love me enough not to break my heart.
please just love me enough.
if you really don't.
then you really do not deserve me.
you would have broken your promise to me,
cheated me into this relationship thinking that you really love me and will take care of me no matter what,
made me waste all my time/feelings/effort
and i will truely HATE you all my life.
nicole<3
Monday, September 15, 2008, 8:29 PM
i want to get a rabbita little one to call my own
to crave my attention and give me affection,
who doesn't care what i do or how i think,
just as long as i love it back.
but how do i smuggle one into my room?
nicole<3
1:58 AM
i hate being alone.because the sadness never leaves when i'm alone.
nicole<3
1:36 AM
i am so fucking sad right nowyet there's nobody there for me
and the one who should be,
is the one making me cry right now
sometimes i really wonder what i mean to you.
why do you always make me so sad
why do you always make me feel that i'm never good enough for you
that i never understand enough
and why do you bear to leave me alone now,
to dwell on everything alone
in tears.
if you love me, why do you hurt me and then leave me to lick at my wounds myself
knowing how hard i've been crying
how swollen my eyes are.
why is it that you don't feel anything and are just able to hang up?
why do i always let myself get bullied by the other.
why am i always the one having to please them?
having to be understanding to them and changing myself or making sacrifices to make them happy.
why can't i just be happy with someone, without having to worry about all these.
what happened to just being in love?
or why is it never the guy doing all that he can to make me happy?
am i so undeserving of it?
i really don't know what to do.
do you even know i still have a online assignment to do right now?
and i am in no fucking mood to do it at all.
maybe i should just get a fucking zero for it.
you don't even know right?
because you don't even ask about me.
are you trying to drive me into a corner?
nicole<3
Saturday, September 13, 2008, 6:28 PM
i am suddenly very very tempted to sign up for guitar classes.earlier while i was at the carpark,
i heard a neighbour singing at the top of his voice and playing the tune to david cook's version of "always be my baby" on guitar.
okay, so the singing wasn't exactly fantastic,
but the music was not that bad.
i want to know how to play like that too!!
=X
researched online for music schools.
tried yamaha's first,
but the webbie didn't exactly have all that much details
and i think the way yamaha teaches will be stringent and boring.
then i came across replugged music school
http://www.replugged.com/
the place seems to give me a edgy-er and more my age kinda vibe.
and the course description is so much more interesting.
the place is located just opposite bugis junction,
which means direct bus home! (unless i decide to ride over. heh heh heh)
should i should i should i ??
temptations temptations.
=X
haha
nicole<3
12:56 AM
nails "pimped" nice,dressed up nice,
make-ed up nice,
handbag nice,
camera in the bag nice nice.
thought we could go somewhere nice to hang out and chill and chat and take nice photos together
but it was just not meant to be.
*sigh*
you always never know what fate might have in store for you.
o.0
where oh where are my longer weekends?
was viewing sgfleamarket and runway city on livejournal this afternoon,
and after seeing all the pretty pretty clothes,
i really really really want to go to bangkok empty handed and bring back at least 3 suitcases full of clothes.
HAH~*
it's 1am on a friday night, (okay, so technically it's sat morning)
and i'm home already
i am such a miser. (read: L-O-S-E-R!!!!)
and only out for a miserable 3+ hours.
boo! :( (i kinda miss the weekly clubbing affairs with my girls)
hope tomorrow will be better.
nicole<3
Thursday, September 11, 2008, 11:25 AM
omg!i haven't slept so much in such a long time.
recently i've been losing alot of sleep due to work/projects
so yesterday i finally had a free day to myself after school and passing up my assignment
i got home, had lunch then slept from 2-9pm. (7hours)
had dinner, started/canvased elijah, watched species 3 and the tyra show
then back to sleep from about 1-11am this morning.(10 hours)
therefore,
7 + 10 = 17 hours of sleep!!!!
my goodness.
definately gonna have problems sleeping tonight
somebody ask me out later, please?
=X
nicole<3
Monday, September 08, 2008, 11:20 PM
omg!i am so so so confused and clueless about my professional development assignment
and developing a headache over it now
it's due wed morning
and it's currently.. ... ... 11.23pm monday night
o.0
on a happy note,
elijah's back in my carpark right now
all warm and good as new under his canvas. :)
didn't have a chance to take any pictures though,
cos i didn't want to look like an idiot taking pictures of my bike in the carpark at night
=X
and just one more thing before going back to my assignment
this is pretty late but,
yours truely is in page 27 of this month's issue of seventeen magazine.
but to clarify things,
i DID NOT send in a photo of myself NOR AM I a seventeen reader.
i got ambushed in orchard road by this caucasian woman who asked if she could take my picture to put in a column in seventeen magazine
i was pretty overwhelmed at the time so i just obliged.
thought i was gonna be in that section where they stop people in the streets and ask them where they got all their stuff (because she asked me where i got my clothes/accesories/bag/belt/shoes/watch)
so "LOLS" right?
=X
back to my assignment
tata people~*
nicole<3
Sunday, September 07, 2008, 11:55 PM
sometimes i wonder,will this relationship fail?
not by choice of either of us
but because of the external factors.
factors that were already around
but were more subtle before.
yet now,
they are starting to creep from beneath the surface
creating hairline cracks,
on a once flawless surface.
will it come to a time
where i will need to step back
and make a sacrifice?
so that the other will be able to live happier,
not have to worry about neglecting either of his commitments
i'd definately be sad
but i'd rather he be happy without me,
than unhappy with me.
i guess only time will tell.
i'd believe that we'll be able to get through this
i'm just worried that it'll be hard on us.
him having many priorities and not wanting to forsake either
yet i'm the kind who needs constant attention, love and concern
lately, things are starting to rattle my belief
him being so stressed out and everything
yet i can't really do much to make him feel better
and it doesn't help that i am one of the factors causing this stress.
:(
will we be able to get through this baby?
nicole<3
3:14 PM
picture post - part 1so i really ought to be looking at my project deadline dates and planning my time,
but i really just can't stand sitting around and doing nothing.
so here's my very very very very very overdue picture post.
warning: tremendously image heavy!!!!
here we go.
2nd august - pool + movies with chrissy, sera and weili
chrissy
sera
weili
and yours truely attempting to arrange the balls
check out my serious look!! =X
oh man,
i was pouting. -________-"
i was pouting. -________-"
check out weili's foot stance!!
i found it highly amusing. :p
i found it highly amusing. :p
the effects on the white ball are damn cool right?
cole & chris
i really shouldn't laugh at sera's bf,
but look at the placement of his feet!
stupid chris took an ass shot of me. o.0
"sister act"
stylo pose
back at ya chris!
and sera wants to stick her finger in your ass.
:p
and sera wants to stick her finger in your ass.
:p
sera looks so buey song in these 2 pictures.
haha
haha
not even gonna comment
heh. =X
heh. =X
after movies,
me and chris went to amk macs for supper
and to wait for sky and zeke.
me and chris went to amk macs for supper
and to wait for sky and zeke.
6th august - last clubbing session at obar with joyceh before she left for exchange
khad, cole and joyceh
the girls.
she looks damn red here la!
all bleary-eyed
wtf,
glenn totally cut our heads in half.
bad photographer!!
glenn totally cut our heads in half.
bad photographer!!
much better
:)
:)
this picture's in the obar webbie
and i look so fugly in it can?
-____________-"
and i look so fugly in it can?
-____________-"
16th august - changi airport swensens with team illusion
jovelle let me try some of her pasta
and the black pepper crayfish spaghetti rocks!
ivan's banana split
and my heavenly waffle with ice-cream and caramel sauce.
very unglam pic of eileen which she would kill me if she saw
but thankfully she doesn't read my blog =X
but thankfully she doesn't read my blog =X
ivan and shermann tucking in
i attempted to take candid photos of the others in couples
(other than me and ivan, everyone else belongs to couples)
foreground - anqi & shuming
background - karen (who can't be seen from that angle unfortunately) & jacky
(other than me and ivan, everyone else belongs to couples)
foreground - anqi & shuming
background - karen (who can't be seen from that angle unfortunately) & jacky
alex & eileen
shermann & jovelle
shixiang chen, when are you finally gonna come along with me
so i don't have to be couple-less?
o.0
so i don't have to be couple-less?
o.0
we're both half chinese half filipino
:)
:)
eileen with her signature pose
who would have thought there would be such a pretty wall in the airport?
so what do i do?
this!
so what do i do?
this!
this!
and this!
the airport was the very last place i rode my bike to
before it got stolen.
so this is technically my last picture as a rider,
til elijah came back. :)
the airport was the very last place i rode my bike to
before it got stolen.
so this is technically my last picture as a rider,
til elijah came back. :)
17th august - belated birthday steamboat at hong hong's place
clem and joyce tried to trick tzyy horng into eating one of those faux breads from action city
and guess what,
hong hong fell for it and actually took a bite at it.
LMAO~*
and guess what,
hong hong fell for it and actually took a bite at it.
LMAO~*
so cool,
first time eating steamboat on the floor!
first time eating steamboat on the floor!
so we start eating chips first
while waiting for the others to come
while waiting for the others to come
joyce and clement
i happened to be wearing the same colour as clemmie
hong with his army cup
the food.
gabriel arrives
enjoying the olympics
hong and gab are from the same camp
which explains why the pattern on the cup,
is exactly the same as that on gab's shirt.
which explains why the pattern on the cup,
is exactly the same as that on gab's shirt.
i was getting really bored,
so i started taking pictures of the food
one by one
veggies
so i started taking pictures of the food
one by one
veggies
prawns
tau pok? (dunno what's the exact name)
achar
fishballs
quail's eggs (favourite!)
fish
long white mini mushrooms? (i also dunno what this is called)
fishcakes wrapped in beancurd skin.
crabmeat (another favourite)
sausages
chicken meat
the soup base with lotsa cabbage and sesame seed oil (smelled heavenly)
and last but not least, chilli in soya sauce.
i personally like this pic,
cause the colours came out nice
:)
i personally like this pic,
cause the colours came out nice
:)
anthea was the next to arrive
followed by mel
and then noreen!! (i haven't seen this woman for ages)
finally, it's time to tuck in!
mel inspecting the "piece of bread"
ling leaves very near to hong yet she was one of the last to arrive
hah!
hah!
and finally,
the last person to arrive
hongjun
the last person to arrive
hongjun
anthea and her usual antics
noreen with her curly hair
(i've always loved her hair since year 1)
(i've always loved her hair since year 1)
ling is pointing at thea's face because
she has a mosquitoe bite at that exact spot.
anthea always gets mozzy bites on her face
haha
she has a mosquitoe bite at that exact spot.
anthea always gets mozzy bites on her face
haha
mel busy enjoying her food
tb23 shits!!
us girls
:)
:)
hong hong
thethorn i mean lucky fella amongst the roses.
=X
the
=X
after dinner,
evan almighty was our entertainment
evan almighty was our entertainment
look at mel's face!
she always has the funniest of expressions.
she always has the funniest of expressions.
lastly,
here's me.
here's me.
okay,
i actually have alot more photos to upload
but it's already been a few hours and it's dinner time now
so akan datang for part 2 yea? =X
haha
loves,
cole
nicole<3
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