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Tuesday, November 27, 2007, 2:29 PM
i'm so freaking bored now..just rotting at home waiting for time to pass til i have to get ready to go to work..
I HATE MY NEW TIMETABLE NOW..
unlike any NORMAL timetable where respective modules have their own respective days..
it's all mambo jumbo jumbled up this sememster..
exampla i have only 1 module this sem (again)..
last week i had class on tuesday and thursday..
this week the damn lesson's on friday..
which makes it so so difficult for me to plan work schedules and outings with friends.. o.0
just like today.. i thought i was supposed to have school from 2-5pm so i told the manager i'd only be able to report to work around 6pm..
okay, i shouldn't really bitch about that since i didn't want to call him up and tell him i could come over earlier..
just too damn lazy.. =X
i need to rant now..
i haven't had proper sleep for 3 weeks..
ever since my last tp, my body clock has been seriously screwed..
no matter what time i get to sleep the night (more like morning) before, i always wake up at 8-9+am..
if i'm lucky i get to sleep in til 11+am..
this is so unlike me..
i'm like the queen of waking up late.. i used to sleep 10 over hours and i wouldn't get up til 2-3pm..
and it gets damn irritating when i get up so early and there's nothing for me to do..
my appetite's changed as well..
i eat very little and i get full easily..
i'm like 1-2kg lighter now..
and few people have commented i'm getting skinnier..
one friend i met up with recently after a few years even said i look like a teko (bamboo pole) now.. -_-"
that can't be good right..?
considering how i have no chest nor ass, if i get thinner there'll be nothing left.. o.0 LOLS~*
although i'm only taking 1 module this sem..
it seems like this particular module is one of the hardest..
on the bright side it's not examinable..
BUT..
it's all project based..
and the first deadline's next week..!!
so damn fast.. and we don't even have our textbooks yet since the bookshop hasn't gotten them..
how the hell to do assignments based on no knowledge about the subject..?
i was practically freaking out during the first lesson and the tutor was going through the syllabus and assignment details.. -_-"
sort of a "culture shock" for me since last sem's module was so slack..
don't know how i'm going to balance riding/work/projects all at the same time..
sometimes i wish i could just work instead of studying..
so not used to studying anymore.. =(
oh oh..
remember i was so worried about my exam paper..
especially since i was going through the breakup during that period of time and was too emo to study properly..
well, even if i flunk my paper i still pass the module..!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA~*
*heaves a hugh sigh of relief*
cause 70% is project based and 30% is exam based..
and i got 50.5 for my project..
and it's all thanks to pearlin..!! =D
thank god we joined together during part 2..
i know there were 4 people in our group, but really, i don't want to be mean but it was literally the both of us doing work ONLY..
and we got 25/30 for the part 3 (the most important part) of our project..!!
i was estatic when she told me over the phone last monday..
all that chionging til 12am at her house paid off.. =D
thank you so much babe, couldn't have done it without you..!! *hugs*
i'm gonna be short of cash next month.. =S
cause the new working place's pay cutoff date is during the middle of the month..
and you only get the money at the end of the month..
and since i only really started chionging work after the 15th..
i'll only get to reap my rewards at the end of next month..
sadness can..? =(
so i feel better after all that ranting.. =X hah..!!
shall just slack for abit and then get ready for work..
tata~*
sometimes i wonder what you're thinking..
nicole<3
2:43 AM
it's good..
woohoo..!!had a really busy weekend..
friday was a sit down event at ubs.. (united bank of ??)
some really ulu place at kheam hock..??
my first time going there and working a formal sit down dinner..
it was a new and interesting experience for me.. =)
made new friends too.. =D
only downside was that i dropped a bread knife in front of a guest while changing her plate..? =X
thank god she didn't get offended or anything..
saturday was slacking at home til dinner time..
then out to the ritz carlton for chinese food with dad, his gf, aunt, uncle, one of my cousins who's back from the uk and my ah ma from malaysia..
was practically stuffed after the whole meal.. =S
after that was to marina square to meet up with ivan and yc..
they ate kfc and we walked around ms before meeting up with the rest at ps..
watched "enchanted" at the cathay..
the bloody show was delayed for 45minutes.. o.0
but all in all it was a really good and sweet show..
had supper at this malay place near mah motors..
sunday..
met XD again..
we were supposed to watch a show at j8 with XD's friend but we ended up just lunching in bishan..
then to balestier to watch "fred claus"..
played pool at meridien.. (i am still actually not bad at pool though i haven't played for over a year! hah =X)
dinner was carl's jr at ps..
then ended up slacking at XD's after that..
got home say 5pm today and went over to aunt munfong's place at night cos aunt leng and katherina are here for the week..
okay.. so this is a really brief and boring update.. -_-"
no "lets write an interesting blogpost" mood..
having different feelings inside right now..
i finally got to talk to mum on the phone today..
and i told her about me breaking up with yc..
it's good to hear somebody else support my decision in ending the relationship..
especially since the person is my mum..
she even went on to saying that aries people are like that..
they get over ppl really quickly cos they always find someone new..
but then again, other people may think i'm some player or b*tch for falling for another so soon..
especially since it was a 2 year relationship..
but then again, why should i care what other people think right..?
if i'm happy with the person why not go for it?
i'm sure i'm gonna be faced with lots of questions and doubts from friends..
maybe a little too fast than it should..
the first 2 weeks i knew XD we got really close..
then last week it was like as if we were strangers..
and now..
it's like we're already together when we really aren't..
i really hope i get treated right and that i don't end up getting hurt this time..
that XD is serious about his feelings for me..
the thing about me when it comes to relationships is that i always take risks..
with which i almost always end up crashing and burning in the end..
the only thing i can do is to keep my fingers crossed i guess.. =S
i doubt XD will ever read this..
but i've really fallen for you..
and i hope you meant everything that you told me before..
this song's for you.. =P
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Avril Lavigne - Hot
Ah, ah ah
You're so good to me baby, baby
I wanna lock you up in my closet when no one's around
I wanna put your hand in my pocket because you're allowed
I wanna drive you into the corner and kiss you without a sound
I wanna stay this way forever I'll say it loud
Now you're in, and you can't get out
[Chorus]
You make me so hot
Make me wanna drop
It's so ridiculous
I can barely stop
I can hardly breathe
You make me wanna scream
You're so fabulous
You're so good to me baby, baby
You're so good to me baby, baby
I can make you feel all better, just take it in
And I can show you all the places you've never been
And I can make you say everything that you've never said
And I will let you do anything again and again
Now you're in, and you can't get out
[Chorus]
Kiss me gently
Always I know
Hold me, love me
Don't ever go
Ooh, yeah yeah
[Chorus X2]
You're so good
nicole<3
Saturday, November 24, 2007, 1:50 AM
sad..
you sounded really cold on the phone earlier..
i'd like to give you the benefit of the doubt that it's probably because you were stressed or tired..
i still haven't really heard from you til now..
i'm really hoping that i will tomorrow or sunday..
this really sucks..
why give me false hope..?
saying such sweet things which at this point of time seem more like empty promises..
why do you have to be so cold..?
i really can't help but think of you..
so many things remind me of you..
why do i keep letting myself get hurt like this..?
nicole<3
Friday, November 23, 2007, 1:18 AM
work is "FUN"..
this week's work is pretty hectic..expo.. nafa.. raffles quay (was supposed to be republic poly but thank god it got changed).. jurong bowling alley..
like nearly all over singapore.. o.0
and today during work my feet hurt like hell..
all thanks to the one size to small shoes i got.. -_-"
on the bright side, some of the guests did say that i provided good (butlering) service and thanked me before they left/randomly although they really didn't have to..
made my day la.. =)
ever since i've joined ce i've pretty much become a clutz..
paper cuts, blue blacks, cuts from god knows where, knocking into things/knocking things i'm carrying against myself..
today i got a stupid blue black again..
like so wth.. -_-"
sera and i slacked over at the bus stop in front of bugis village for abit before going home..
people-watched..
commented on the ah lians with their exposed midriffs, naval piercings and tattoos..
on this group of ah bengs who were all in black skinnies which didn't look good on any of them..
talked about random stuff..
somehow i think sera and i are really alike in alot of ways.. (and i don't mean the way we look though ppl do mix us up pretty often)
and winnie's back from perth..!!!
so exciting..
i miss that woman loads and i hope i get to see her soon.. =)
that all for now..
tata~*
nafa reminds me of you.. bugis reminds me of you.. republic poly reminds me of you.. I NEED TO STOP THINKING OF YOU.. it's making me crazy and sad.. =(
nicole<3
1:01 AM
maybe..
no smses, no msn messages, no calls, no nothing..
no replies to any attempts i've tried to make contact..
it always has to happen this way..
once you get to that point when you suddenly get that much closer, suddenly you got completely ignored..
i'd like to think it's because you're really that busy with your projects/work and stuff since deadlines are this week..
but as the days go by, my guess gets weaker and weaker..
can u really be that busy that you couldn't even send out a msg..?
you were so sweet.. so attentive.. always there to keep me company..
making me smile just by being you..
making me laugh at your crappy jokes and sillyness..
you'd message me everyday almost non-stop from the time you wake up til you went to bed..
you were my confidant for that period of time..
now you seem more like a stranger..
i guess maybe i was a rebound to you..
maybe you just wanted to see if you could make any girl you wanted to to fall for you..
maybe you got dared to or something..
i don't know..
maybe i'm just thinking way too much..
i just know that the day i confessed that i had feelings for you too, everything went downhill after that..
i'd hate it if you had to make me fall for you only to treat me like that after..
i've already been sad enough as it is, you'd just be too cruel to have to do that to me on purpose..
i just wished you wouldn't leave me hanging here like that..
just waiting and waiting and waiting..
not knowing what's going on and constantly thinking what went wrong..
if you're not interested just let me know..
at least, i know..
and i can move on from there..
i don't know..
you seemed so sincere..
i would never believe that you would do this to me..
i'm still hoping for that "maybe"..
that maybe you just really want to concentrate on your work without distractions..
that maybe things will go back to normal once all your work's done and handed up..
that maybe you didn't mean to ignore/neglect me all this time..
that maybe, just maybe..
you were true..
nicole<3
Thursday, November 22, 2007, 12:25 AM
lemon-y arms..
work was tiring like hell today..i actually worked from 11am - 11pm..!! (actually 10.40pm but they rounded up the hour.. heh)
and i was the only local kid there..
out of the 17 of us, 16 were sri lankans and vietnamese..
so there were points of time when i was quite the loner since the others broke into groups and started conversing among themselves in their own mother tongues.. o.0
we like did 3 set ups in all today when there was only 1 event going on today.. -_-"
but today's event was pretty cool..
launch of nike SEA's new collection..
there was even a runway for models to show off the latest nike threads..
I SO WANT TO BE A RUNWAY MODEL TOO..!! (one of my dreams! =X)
it's so glam and so cool la.. =D
i was made to butler food today..
and now my arms are aching.. o.0
i swear i nearly dropped the platter i was holding a couple of times..
i could feel the blood circulation going from my arms and there were times when i hardly had any strength left in them..
it's damn scary.. =S
I PREFER BUTLERING DRINKS.. PERIOD!
working at the expo has it's downsides..
but on the bright side..
i did get to see many gorgeous models male and female today..
and there was this cute (in an ah beng kinda way) chef in our kitchen.. =X
heh heh heh
anyway, i can foresee that i will be pooped this weekend again..
i'm already tired today and i still have work tomorrow and friday..
what makes matters worse is that i have school again tomorrow..
like wtf la..
i'm supposed to work at 4.30pm tomorrow but since class ends at 5pm, i've to rush to work after school..
what makes matters worse is that the event is at the nafa gallery and i have no idea how to get there..
how "nice" right..?
mdis always makes last minute changes to timetables and whatnot..
and i haven't done my homework yet since i only found out today and i was at work all day..
thank god for melissa smsing me that we have class tomorrow..
you're a charm babe.. =D
alright..
i know this is a very bimbotic post..
i shall go sleep my bimbo-ness off and attempt to do homework tomorrow morning before school..
nights world..
nicole<3
Tuesday, November 20, 2007, 8:24 PM
XD
please don't make me fall for you only to get my heart broken..
nicole<3
Monday, November 19, 2007, 2:40 PM
shopaholic..
i let my shopaholic nature get the better of me yesterday.. o.0ended up with much more than i expected..
initially i was only supposed to get shoes for work at ce..
but i ended up with..
- 2 pairs of shoes
- 1 pair of sandels
- 1 eye shadow
- 1 hoodie
damages to my bank account..? HUGE.. -_-"
oh wells.. i had great company.. =)
poor sera was coughing the whole time..
we coincidentelly wore the same pair of purple skinny jeans la.. -.-
it was damn funny..
people kept looking at us..
especially since we are of similiar height/build/hairstyle..
must have looked like 2 posers trying to look like twins.. hah
thank god our tops were of different colours..
i headed to town earlier to collect my dearest 3250 from the nokia care center..
i miss my phone so much can..?
couldn't use it for 2+ weeks..
but i had to wait like 1 and a half hours for my turn..
and i was standing the whole time mind you..
so effing sian..
then i met sera..
we lunched at fep..
then we shopped, shopped and shopped..
slacked at lido for awhile before going home..
i'm glad we had time to just sit down and talk..
i managed to learn much more about her.. =)
and yes..
today i'm stuck at home..
suppering with long time friends from cibtc benjamin and eetian..
haven't seen them in ages la.. =)
was thinking of cutting/colouring my hair today..
but just too damn lazy and running low on $ka-ching ka-ching$ .. =X
time for pictures now.. =)
I LOVE MY PHONE.. =D
glittery black eyeshadow from inouvi..
black shoes for work which only cost me 17+bucks from vivie.. muahahaha
pumps in a lovely metallic blue from schu.. (the picture doesn't do justice to the colour)
black jewelled sandels from schu.. can't really see the details properly here..
rainbow starred black hoodie from topshop (which sera also has =X)
nicole<3
Sunday, November 18, 2007, 12:45 PM
it's sunday..
emo post last night..everytime i post something really emo, the next day i'll re-read it and think what the hell was i so emo for..?
hah.. so stupid..
oh wells.. it's that time of the month..
i'm sure it gives me enough excuse to be depressed for no apparent reason..
things are looking up today..
I CAN GET MY DEAREST 3250 BACK TODAY..!!!!!!!
i've missed using my phone for so damn long..
and even better news is that instead of the 150bucks quoted to me, i only have to pay 40+..
=D
going out with sera later..
hopefully retail theraphy does me some good..
definately won't do my wallet/posb card any good though.. o.0
melvina is gonna meet her OTS at the airport today..
i'm so happy and excited for her.. =)
3 whole months of spending quality time with him..
enjoy yourself babe.. =D
i can't remember the last time i was so excited about meeting somebody..
that feeling of longing..
oh wells..
should go bathe and head out.
today's sunday so i'm pretty sure the queue at nokia will be longggggggggggggg..
tata~*
nicole<3
Saturday, November 17, 2007, 11:39 PM
=(
i can't handle being alone..nicole<3
11:22 PM
who understands..
everyone must think i'm the one at fault..i'm the heartless one who broke his heart..
i'm the one who gave up on us..
i'm the one who can't forgive and give second chances..
but who knows how i really feel..?
who understands..?
who knows how much i've cried..?
who knows how many chances i've given time and again..?
who knows how many time's my heart's been broken..?
who knows how much i hurt now even though i'm the one who called it quits..?
why do people only notice the figures..?
"oh you've been together for so long, might as well try to talk things through."
"2 year plus, isn't that a waste..?"
"since you guys have been together for so long, why don't you give him another chance..?"
for fuck's sake..
so what if it's been 2 years..?
why do i have to tolerate such cold and cruel behaviour for 2 years and yet have to forgive..?
why am i the evil one..?
who actually has seen what we've gone through the whole time..?
i feel i don't deserve to be treated that way..
i deserve better..
i tolerated til i could tolerate no more..
is it wrong that i've hit my limit..?
is it wrong to not higher my limit one more time since i've been winding it up over and over again..?
is it fair to always keep my hopes up just to fall flat again..?
you say i don't give a damn and that i'm torturing you by ignoring you..
but how many times have you done the exact same thing to me..?
how many times have you done it without batting an eyelid..?
do you know how it felt when i asked you whether u ever thought/worried/cared about me during these "cold periods" and you told me "no" while keeping a straight face..?
i just want to be happy..
i want to stop hurting and crying..
i want to be loved..
yet i'm all alone now..
nicole<3
Friday, November 16, 2007, 10:51 AM
workaholic.. NOT!
these few days i've been burying myself in work work work..but working in this catering company is alot more fufilling compared to cs..
you learn many new things.. get to know many people.. and see all kinds of events..
another plus, the hours and pay's even more so i get to earn more.. =D
nicole<3
Thursday, November 15, 2007, 1:05 PM
alone but happy..
i've learned a couple of things..i hate being controlled, especially since i don't get that kind of shit at home..
i'm the kind that still wants to play and i'm not ready to settle down into a relationship which restricts me from having my fun..
being with someone that loves you more than you love the other person doesn't mean a happy ending..
i shouldn't choose someone who is good for me, i should choose someone who i want..
i'm not used to being single again after so so long..
once i don't love someone anymore i forgot them very easily (twice proven).. whereas when it's the other person's love whose died first, it takes me forever to forget..
it really hurts to be the bad guy.. how the hell do guys do it so easily..?
okay, that was all really random.. bottomline, i felt like shit at the end of it all.. but that's all over and done with now..
time to start life afresh as a singleton .. cheers! =D
nicole<3
12:42 PM
last goodbyes..
Vanessa HudgensGotta Go My Own Way
Gabriella:
I gotta say what's on my mind
Something about us doesn't seem right these days
Life keeps getting in the way
Whenever we try, somehow the plan is always rearranged
Its so hard to say, but I've gotta do what's best for me
You'll be okay...
Chorus:
I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here;
I hope you understand
We might find our place in this world someday,
But at least for now,
I gotta go my own way.
Don't wanna leave it all behind,
But I get my hopes up and watch them fall everytime
Another color turns to gray
And its just too hard to watch it all slowly fade away.
I'm leaving today cause I've gotta do what's best for me,
You'll be okay..
Chorus:
I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here;
I hope you understand
We might find our place in this world someday,
But at least for now,
I gotta go my own way.
Troy:
What about us?
What about everything we've been through?
Gabriella:
What about trust?
Troy:
You know I never wanted to hurt you.
Gabriella:
And what about me?
Troy:
What am I supposed to do?
Gabriella:
I gotta leave but I'll miss you.
Troy:
I'll miss you.
Gabriella:
So I've got to move on and be who I am.
Troy:
Why do you have to go?
Gabriella:
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
Troy:
I'm trying to understand
Gabriella:
We might find our place in this world someday
But at least for now
Troy:
I want you to stay
Gabriella:
I wanna go my own way
I've got to move on and be who I am
Troy:
What about us?
Gabriella:
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
Troy:
I'm trying to understand
Gabriella:
We might find our place in this world someday but at least for now,
I've gotta go my own way,
I've gotta go my own way,
I've gotta go my own way..
|
nicole<3
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