fall for you.

I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU LOVE ME
AND THAT'S WHY I LOVE YOU

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nicole"navarro.just-2wenty-one.o4th april.aries.half-malaysian-chinese-half-filipino.turtles, rainbows, motorbikes, vanilla.14 piercings.inked.officially licensed to ride.my mood:

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Sunday, December 30, 2007, 6:22 PM

nicole<3

3:14 PM

short bbq and joke/games/iq question session with very much missed poly friends..
though not all f4 members were there..
tiong hian and eugene were M.I.A..

i know you'll never see this space but thank you so much kah how for inviting us over to your chalet.. =D

L-R - anthea, szeling, kah how, melvina, nicole

unfortunately yifeng had already left when we wanted to take group pictures..

as a little tidbit..
here's us in 2005.. =D

f4
(L-R) - tionghian, kah how, eugene, yifeng

4-in-love (there's a really lame reason why we were called that but let's not go there)
top (L-R) - anthea, nicole
bottom (L-R) - szeling, melvina

sweetness by the beach.. <3

nicole<3

Saturday, December 29, 2007, 7:06 PM

FUCKING PRETTY~* =D

dreambike.. <3

nicole<3

6:10 PM

0.0

was reading the singaporebikes forums when i came across this thread..

Girls on scramblers or girls on sports bikes?
topic being which is more cool..

as of now, the poll stands at..
Girls riding a sports bike : 30 (42.86%)
Girls riding a scrambler : 14 (20.00%)
Girls riding anything on two wheels: 26 (37.14%)

here's some of the comments in the thread..

Sportsbikes..Seein that a sportsbike have more curves so it resembles so much of a girl..So it goes together very well..

haha...Both ! sure make my head turn de...lolx The point is not the bike,is the girl...lolx...

scramblers for the very same reason y girls wearing high heels look sexy

i prefer lady riders who can handle their bikes physically then the kind of bikes they are riding. as long as they can handle it, even they ride on cub aso looks cool to me.

Girls on naked bikes. Upz 1 point if said girl is aso naked (WTF?! LOLS..)

hmmm.. such a dilema.. girl on a scram or sportbike.. if the ger is ridin a scram.. best if she has nice long legs.. as for the sportbike.. nice big "headlights".. heh heh heh (-_____-")

hahah... u will be surprised bro... i saw a slim girl on a ktm2.... was tinking to myself dat she is sibei cool sia... then suddenly when approaching traffic light swerve to the leftmost lane to.... tiptoe on the kerb!!

All girls riding all types of bikes r cool . Different bikes they ride give them a different type of coolness .
Sportsbikes - Hot n sexy
Scooter - Chic & Hip
Scrambler - Rugged sporty

so sad lo..see those my age riding faster bikes and overtaking me
they can just overtake me n disappear from my sight, u imagine how fast was that, even spark can do that, i see already i feel sad, i might as well take bus

cloud looks so damn cool la.. =X

nicole<3

1:09 PM

sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet~*

surprise visit with oreo cheesecake..
half-day trip in jb..
chocolate banana cake which was oh-so-gooooooooooooood..
cosy-ing up to i am legend..
kayaballs with not that much kaya..
2nd part of movie marathon-ing with alien vs predator 2..
sinfully oily special ramly burger..
photos on the way back..

time spent with =) is always sweet..
congrats on passing your class 2.. =D

nicole<3

Wednesday, December 26, 2007, 11:50 PM

tomorrow..

tomorrow's the day..
the day that dad takes a step into a new life..
the day he accepts the responsbility towards a new family..
the day he pledges his love to another woman..
the day that his life will change..
the day that my life will change as well..

i'll have to accept another woman as my step-mom..
i'll have to become family with strangers..
i'll have to lose my home, the place where i feel safest..
i'll have to share my dad..

so what will become of me..?

change.. you can't stop it but that doesn't mean you'll embrace it..

nicole<3

1:19 AM

you want to know how i feel right..?

i know it's much easier said than done..
but you have to move on eventually..

that day when you said you wanted a chance to win me back..
whether i liked it or not..
i felt so sad..
because one, you'd be hurting yourself because i'll never change my mind..
and two, because i will hurt myself by having to turn you down time and again..

i've already said there's no use..
i really don't have those kind of feelings for you anymore..
the more you push the more i'll step back..
you ask why i don't give you any more chances..
but try to see it from my shoes..
i gave you so many chances before..
even when you were willing to throw away our r'ship over the stupidest of things..
i still gave it my all..
i put so much effort to make things work..
all the sacrifices i made without complaining..
only to not be appreciated and still have to face the wrath of your temper..
the times i felt i was losing myself cause i needed your permission to buy something or to do things to my own body like piercings..
why is it that i have to ask for your approval when it comes to things that only affects me..?
when you always got upset whenever i hung out with the only friends i had just because they were guys..
did you not trust me..? they were friends that you knew as well..
you knew from the start my best friends are mainly guys..
and your idea of spending time together..
you yourself defined it as as long as we are physically together.. the mental didn't matter..
you on your computer playing counter strike..
only turning back once every half an hour to an hour to look at me or speak 1 sentence and then you're back to the game..
once in a while is okay but not all the time..
when i'm not free to spend time with you, you're on the computer..
when i am you're still on the damn com..
you rather stay at your own place than mine most of the time because you want to play cs..
when we're out you want to go home earlier so that you can go home and game..
and you spend so much money on your bike..
hundreds and hundreds at one shot..
and sometimes i just want something small that's not too expensive..
and i have to tell you i want things cause you don't even bother to give me surprises at all..
you complain and say you don't have the money..
was it really too much to ask for..?

and you know how much it hurt every single time you went through your "cold phases"..?
when you completely ignored me..?
refused to answer my smses and calls..
never bothered to contact me at all just to find out how i was or what i was doing..?
when i was left all alone so helpless to worry and cry..
and you were even cold enough to say you never even cared/bothered/worried about what i did, where i went or how was i going during those periods..
i seriously could have gotten knocked down by a car or jumped off a building and you wouldn't give a damn..
how many times did i have to go through all of that..?

can you really blame me for giving up..?
for reaching my limit til i could take it no more..?
you remember what happened during that last fight..?
things were finally starting to settle down..
we managed to get through without fighting for a period of time..
and you fucking blew up just because of that misunderstanding..
a misunderstanding that was nobody's fault at all..
but no, YOU HAD TO MAKE IT MY FAULT..
it couldn't just have been a simple misunderstanding..
you know how much it hurt when you made it seem it was only important to come down to look for me if i needed company for lunch..
since you were already in the damn building couldn't you have just come up to spend time with me..?
is spending quality time with me such a waste of your time and effort..?
and gwc is so fucking near to your place.. would it kill you to wear a raincoat if it rained..?
even if you took your time to come over the most it would have taken 15minutes..
but according to you I MADE YOU SPEED AND RISK YOUR LIFE TO COME OVER HUH?
when i did no such thing since i was under the impression you weren't coming at all..
and ignoring me the next few days.. wow.. that was the BEST PART of the whole thing..
didn't even bother about our anniversary.. not even a msg..
so what if you mentioned it on your blog.. by the time you started writing up the post it was already 1+am the NEXT DAY..
just all your bloody ego that i HAVE to apologize to you first for MY MISTAKE before you'll bother about me..

what makes you think you can treat a person like that..?
to hurt that someone who supposedly means the most to you so much..
the times i tolerated having you throw your anger at me..
when i had to swallow my pride when you shouted at me in public..
you might think i'm being bitter..
but i have my reasons for being so..

by ending our relationship i thought i'd be happier because i wouldn't get hurt anymore..
but i'm still hurting now..
not because i still have feelings for you..
but because i feel so so so bad everytime i know how sad/upset you are..
i don't know why i do..
you didn't know how to treat me right..
i guess i feel guilty about hurting you and that i owe it to you to make sure you're alright..
i do still want to be friends with you..
i don't want to be cruel to you like others have done to me..
but you make it so hard sometimes..
i can't be too nice to you least i give you false hope..
but yet i can't stand being mean.. it's just not me..
i hate myself so much for hurting another person..

i appreciate everything from the past 2+years..
there were the fun and good moments..
but our train has run out of tracks..
it's hit a deadend, derailed and there's no turning back..
i know it takes times..
but you have to move on..
since i keep giving you reasons to get angry..
since i keep doing things you don't like..
i don't even know why you're still nice to me now after what i've done..
you're better off without me..
you'll find someone better than me..
lastly..

i'm sorry..

nicole<3

Tuesday, December 25, 2007, 3:17 PM

my new baby..

lo and behold..!!
my christmas present to myself.. =D
after waiting 1+ hours at regina..

pink beauty rite..??
surprisingly i can wear a size small.. =X lols~*

and pink's not even my favorite colour..

nicole<3

2:09 PM

i smell CHRISTMAS..!! =D

christmas christmas time is here..
time for laughter, time for cheer..

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL YOU PEEPS~*

i actually woke up at 1.55pm today.. hallelujah..!! =X
and my christmas eve was a blast.. =D
sex on the beach is nice.. (i'm referring to the drink, you perverts.. =P)
and so what am i doing today..?
staying to home and doing my case studies for cwri.. -______-"

i got my christmas wish this year..
thank you so much..
it was really sweet.. =)

i like the feeling of being close to you..

nicole<3

Monday, December 24, 2007, 1:27 AM

LMAO..

this is damn funny..
i was talking to junjie on msn when he started telling me about some horoscope funwall post on facebook and saying how he was -______________-" when he read his..
so he forwarded me the post..

LIBRA - The Lame One (LOLS, the LAME one.. =X)

Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with... you might end up crying... Libras can cause as much havoc as they can prevent. faithful friends to the end. Can hold a grudge for years. Libras are someone you want on your side. Usually great at sports and are extreme sports fanatics. Kinda dumb at times.

the last sentence got me laughing.. HAH..!!
it's like so random and such a blow below the belt to the male ego..
now i know why he went -______________-"
LOL~*

so i read mine..

ARIES - The Aggressive (so much better than "the lame one".. hah)

Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, and family is very important to an aries. Aries are known for being generous and giving. Addictive. Loud. Always has the need to be 'Right'. Aries will argue to prove their point for hours and hours. Aries are some of the most wonderful people in the world.

i would never ever describe myself as adorable for one..
and yea, excellent kisser my foot unless the person on the receiving end doesn't mind a tongue stud getting in between.. LOLS
whether the last line is true or not that's not for me to judge..
i for one see way too many flaws.. =X

nicole<3

Sunday, December 23, 2007, 8:45 PM

dad gave me the green light on getting a bike..!!
but there are of course conditions that i have to fulfill..

i must get my mum's permission first
i have to wear proper gear whenever i ride (gloves, jacket, pants & shoes)
i have to promise never to ride up to malaysia
i have to call him rightaway if i get stuck somewhere due to my bike breaking down or heavy rain
i MUST learn to drive
if i get into 2 accidents (TOUCH WOOD..!!) then that's the end of riding for me

i more or less was planning to do all of the above even without dad telling me..

there's no way in hell i'm riding up to m'sia, too damn scared..

and i know i have to wear proper gear, i just wear shorts & slippers when i'm the one being pillioned..and driving has always been on the agenda.. i'm just too darn lazy to go to ssdc to enroll.. =X heh

i initially only wanted to borrow 500 bucks from dad so i could make my down payment.. so i told him about it and about how i wanted to get my bike before my next birthday..

SO..

he said he'll pay the full thing for me instead so i don't have to pay interest..

BUT..

i have to wait til after we sell the current flat we're living in now cause he'll only have the money to spare then.. which he reckons will just nice be around april... -_______-" then i'll just have to pay him back monthly..

bottomline is.. HE HAVE ME PERMISSION TO RIDE..!! =D he did mention it was against his better judgement especially since i'm a girl.. but he didn't want to disappoint me so yea.. =D

dad says he would prefer it if i got a piaggio or vespa instead on an sp.. *mock horror*

nicole<3

3:04 PM

i haven't really posted up any pictures since i created this blog..
so it's time to picture-fy it before you guys forget how i look like.. =P
muahahahahahahahahhahahah~*

slacking at chris' place with sera..