nicole"navarro.just-2wenty-one.o4th april.aries.half-malaysian-chinese-half-filipino.turtles, rainbows, motorbikes, vanilla.14 piercings.inked.officially licensed to ride.my mood: 
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updates
i failed my prac 1. again
and today my friend passed on the second try
i'm not disappointed nor discouraged,
cause i know my turn will come
but i do feel the "awww man" kind of sian.
like "aww man, why didn't pass on the 2nd try too *insert pout for added effect* " kind of sian
oh wells.
next,
i'm going away to sydney from the 7th of feb to the 28th.
i'll be going when it's warm and sunny end of summer
where there will be summer-end sales galore.
and i am gonna buy back as many bikinis/beach wear/clothes as my wallet/luggage can take.
*beams*
:)
had a meetup with my girlies (khad and jing) today
and we were talking about guys. (a topic that never fails to fuel our conversations)
jing recently single (again) and khad wanting to breakaway.
men - always the cause of all problems
while we girls build our lives around making them happy,
most guys only care about what makes them happy.
we concluded that we should just forego men altogether,
find lesbian partners,
adopt a kid or find a guy to get you pregnant
and just live happily ever after with your lesbo partner and your kid.
today i learnt something new about khad.
all the while, i thought i was the only one who had no confidence in myself
hardly any trust in the opposiute sex.
you see,
my biggest fear in relationships,
is finding out one day that the guy i love so dearly
has fallen in love with another or cheated on me
and wants to leave me.
i think the heartbreak from such a betrayal would kill me.
literally.
like kryptonite is to superman,
a betrayal is to me.
and i was ashamed that i feared that.
but today, i learnt that someone else has that very same fear as me.
i've always seen myself weak, not good enough.
confidence was lost in my books.
but today, someone whom i've always thought of as pretty, smart, confident, cheerful and wonderful personality, has got everything going for her..
in fact i admire her and wish i could be more like her
why would someone like that need to worry about a guy leaving her for another?
but she said the exact words that i felt deep in my heart.
the fear of betrayal.
i guess in a way i feel relieved.
i realize i may not be as weak as i think i am.
that actually, many other girls are afraid of the same thing,
and it's nothing to be ashamed of.
that maybe i'm not as bad as i think.
:)
nicole<3
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