nicole"navarro.just-2wenty-one.o4th april.aries.half-malaysian-chinese-half-filipino.turtles, rainbows, motorbikes, vanilla.14 piercings.inked.officially licensed to ride.my mood: 
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i feel sad right now.
it's been a week already
on the surface i seem to be happy and my normal self
deep down inside..
i'm actually still very sad over my loss
and those feelings resurfaced again just now.
i don't want to give up riding
i don't want to ride a wave or a phantom or a super 4 or nought.
i don't want people to judge me if i want to ride an sp again or give scrams a try
in actual fact,
i'll be just happy as it is to get my bike back.
i don't need a newer or better or more expensive bike
i just want the same high fc, full of small problems, pmsy, scratched up bike back.
:(
i think tonight might be the night i'll finally be able to get the sadness out.
alone.
and tomorrow's supposed to be sx day.
i was happily telling sera earlier on msn that tmr's sx day
because i haven't seen him since he left for ipoh
and in his own words he said "thursday's for you"
but scratch that
he's going to work again and will only be free at night.
i am actually quite disappointed.
i know i'm supposed to be supportive
and understand his situation.
so i pretend i'm okay with it
but sometimes i really wish he didn't have to work so much.
why does it have to be so hard.
we are unhappy inside but for the sake of the person,
we have to be understanding and do what will make them happy.
it sucks saying he'll give me the day,
and then takes it back.
it's been a week since i last saw him
and he was away when i really needed him around.
now that he's back i just want what i missed out on.
but hey, work comes first.
fullstop.
i wonder,
is money really that important?
sucks la.
i feel down now
and i'm stuck at home.
what's worse i still can't sob yet.
it's just tears and mucus coming out.
i feel very frustrated.
i want to go look for my bike
but i don't have the means to.
i want to spend time with my boyfriend
but even that's difficult.
i want to vent out my emotions
but they're staying put inside.
i wish there was someone.
nicole<3
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